I normally have little to say about this Hallmark Holiday. In my opinion it is more contrived than modern-day Christmas, more exclusionary than Father’s Day and definitely more baseless than any of the other commercially popular holidays.

Valentines Day is actually based on a pagan tradition linked to fertility with very questionable links to anyone by the name of “Saint Valentine”.

Now, don’t misunderstand. I am not against love and romance. Nor am I a bitter spinster who feels jilted on Valentines Day. I have been mate-less just as often as I have been with a mate on February 14 and have no memories of feeling left out on a mate-less Valentines Day.

I didn’t realize the pressure this holiday places on singles and coupled people alike until last week when an un-coupled friend of mine expressed her chagrin for the upcoming holiday. It surprised me that a beautiful, successful and confident woman would place so much importance on this silly holiday. I wondered why this didn’t matter to me as much. Why, I wondered, was I never bothered about being single on Valentines Day?

My association with Valentines Day was never based in romantic, intimate love and here is the reason why: my brother and I always received a little something from our parents on Valentines Day, nothing elaborate, just a little something to put a smile on our faces. These days it is a simple phone call to connect and share, although my grandmother still sends Valentine cards to the family. Growing up, Valentines Day in the Asfour house was a family affair. It was a celebration of love, in all its manifestations. How very forward thinking – bravo Mama Asfour!

When it comes to relationships, Western culture places much emphasis on the idea of romantic love. If we all put the same amount of focus and effort into relationships with our siblings, parents, friends, colleagues and ourselves as we do into our romantic relationships, our lives would be richer, our hearts would be fuller and nobody would ever be without a Valentine.

This Valentines Day also marks the lunar (Chinese) New Year. A perfect time for a call to action to change our notions of love and relationships. Challenge yourself to viscerally engage in all your relationships, starting with the relationship with yourself. Love, after all, is an inside job.

Wishing you all much love and cheers to a wonderful New Year!

May and June have been very busy, challenging and inspiring months. On June 7, I celebrated the anniversary of the beginning of my human journey. I took pause to remember the lessons and truths that were gifted upon me over the past 12 months. Here are my top five; hope they lift you up, inspire and warm your spirit in some small way.

1. Those who lack a passion for delicious food also lack a deep passion for other delicious human experiences.

2. True lasting love doesn’t sweep you up like a crazy tornado, rather, it is a playful breeze that dances around you at first, then with you, caressing your skin, warming your spirit and strengthening your soul.

3. True friendship isn’t in who’ve we’ve known the longest, but in who has come along and never left your side.

4. All emotions are either based in fear or love. It is really that simple. Acknowledge your negative thoughts, and then set them free. Live in and appreciate the moment to increase your capacity to love.

5. We cannot create our ideal life overnight, so enjoy the journey and the lessons that will follow your inspired actions.

Namaste.